


'How to court a hobbit'

by DwarvishWarriors



Series: How to court your... [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Dwarf Courting, Flowers, Fluff, Hobbit Courting, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-08
Updated: 2014-02-08
Packaged: 2018-01-11 14:55:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1174425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DwarvishWarriors/pseuds/DwarvishWarriors
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin's five 'easy' steps to courting your hobbit...</p>
            </blockquote>





	'How to court a hobbit'

Thorin sighed and placed his head on a fisted hand as he watched the hobbit busy fretting over his nephews, it made the king smile when he saw his heirs spending time and including the hobbit into the company after he had been such a rotten leader and tried to force the hobbit out. But the Halfling had proved himself to the king when he had saved him from the jaws of the white Warg and the devilish pale Orc, Gandalf had fixed him up good and proper on the top of the Carrock but for some reason that the wizard could not explain Thorin felt a hole in his chest even when there were no bruises marring his skin.

Thorin was so busy watching the hobbit try to get the boys to sit down and eat dinner that he didn’t notice Balin slink up behind him and take a seat next to him.

“You know,” He said as an introduction that made Thorin jump in startle. “I haven’t seen you look like this since you were a dwarfling with a crush on your weapons instructor.”

Thorin scoffed at the elder dwarf and folded his arms over his chest.

“Are you implying that I have a.... _affection_ , for the hobbit?” Thorin grumbled in reply and Balin shrugged his shoulders in a mutual way.

“I would not know, but if I know you as well as I believe I do then I believe that you do.” Balin stated simply and Thorin furrowed his brow as the words absorbed into his mind in an attempt to make sense.

“And suppose I do have what you suggest I do, how would I go about proving I do to the Halfling?” Thorin replied and Balin smiled slightly under his thick white beard.

“Maybe try getting him some flowers, or make him a nice meal,” Balin started and Thorin frowned slightly. “Or maybe play him some music, I am certain Bofur has a spare harp in his bag and I remember how you used to play so wonderfully, or you could write him a sonnet just a little something as a romantic gesture, or maybe-”

“Balin, you know I am not good with words.” Thorin interrupted and Balin smiled fondly as the memories of a young Thorin seemed to appear before his eyes and bought back fond memories of the dwarfling being ungraceful in all his studies.

“You don’t have to remind me, Thorin, I remember your issues perfectly well.” Balin said and Thorin huffed a sigh and rubbed his callous hands together.

“Thank you for your help, Balin.” Thorin said before he took a long pause. “But I think I can handle this.”

“Very well.” Balin said before bowing his head, getting up from his seat and walking away with his hands tucked firmly behind his back.

And if he noticed Thorin walking over to the young scribe and asking him for a quill and paper, well he wouldn’t say anything.

\----

Thorin looked over his list the next day as he lead the company down the side of the Carrock, the title ‘ _how to court a hobbit’_ written in bold print on the top of the milky paper, then a few markers of Balin’s ideas beneath it.

Number one on the list was _‘Give the hobbit some flowers’._

Thorin looked around the large rock path and noticed that the only sign of foliage was the moss dangling from the side of the great rock, he would have to put that plan on hold until they got to the ground.

By the time they did reach the ground the sun was beginning to set and the wizard implored them to set up camp while he went wherever he went on one of his little adventures, Thorin ordered the dwarves to start setting up the bed mats while he went off to find firewood _(Read as-while he went off in search of flowers)._

Thorin marched into the forest in search of the ‘wood’ until he suddenly came across a mixed patch of yellow and purple flowers; Thorin removed his list from his cloak before using his inked quill to tick off the first tip. He then placed the list back into his cloak pocket before pulling a bundle of flowers.

“Hey uncle, I thought you were looking for firewood?!” A voice called behind Thorin, interrupting him from his flower selection, the majestic king stood quickly and hid his fistful of flowers behind his back.

“I was- I mean I am.” Thorin stated quickly and Kili furrowed his brows at him, his brother beside him with an identical look.

“Really? Because it looks like you were picking daisies.” Fili said now and Thorin faltered slightly, embarrassed that he had been caught picking flowers like he did when he was a dwarfling.

“Well, maybe I was what’s it to you?” Thorin tried to fake anger now but his nephews were unfazed.

“Nothing, maybe we could help? We know the hobbit has a specific taste for flowers.” Fili said and his dimpled grin grew and Kili grinned himself and raised his hand to hide his laugh. Thorin faltered again, _how could they possible know about_ \- _Oh_.

“Balin?” The king asked.

“Balin.” The princes replied.

“You may help me.” Thorin said with a single nod before his glare turned icy. “But one smart remark and you’ll be out on your ears.”

Fili and Kili seemed to ignore the warning as they practically skipped towards the flower beds and began picking a bundle quickly.

\----

The bouquet was so large now that Thorin had to carry it in two hands, the bundle was a mixture of yellow daises and purple lilies and something the princes called bluebells, Fili and Kili had been incredibly enthusiastic about picking certain flowers that now they had an abundance of flowers twisted in their curls, Thorin grumbled to himself and wondered how he should gift the flowers to the hobbit. Maybe he could just pull the hobbit aside and gift them? Or get Fili and Kili to do it? Or just throw them at him and run? Or leave them-

Thorin didn’t have to finish that thought as they returned to the edge of camp, he told the boys to straighten up and go into the camp first and alert him if the hobbit was there, the princes did as they were told and quickly straightened their petal covered hair before walking to the camp, giving their uncle a thumbs up when they saw that the hobbit was not currently there, only the dwarves.

Thorin stepped out of the brush quickly then and marched across the camp, ignoring the amused looks he was receiving from the other dwarves as he did, he arrived at Bilbo’s bed mat quickly and placed the flowers on his pillow before he moved towards his own bed mat and settled down for the night.

Thorin didn’t fall asleep like the rest of the dwarves until the hobbit returned, with his clothes slightly out of place and his hear soaking wet as he had just returned from bathing in the stream nearby and how Thorin wished he could have been there to help the hobbit to wash those dainty curls, or those round shoulders or those supple thighs.

Bilbo hummed to himself as he shook his head to remove some of the water from his curls before he walked towards his bed mat and froze, Thorin watched worriedly as the hobbit bent over and picked up the bundle of flowers and looked around the camp, Thorin quickly feigned sleep before opening his eyes when he knew the hobbit looked past him, he watched as the hobbit smiled to himself before taking a deep sniff of the flowers as he crawled into his bed mat and placed the flowers to his side, Thorin would deny that he smiled about that, because he was a mighty king and kings don’t smile.

\----

The next day, the company arrived at the home of Beorn the skin changer, one of Gandalf’s many friends and had settled down for dinner, but tonight the rest of the company were leaving with the skin changer for a hunt while Thorin stayed and prepared a meal for his hobbit, he had asked the skin changer permission to use his kitchen room and his pantry and the bear man had begrudgingly agreed. Thorin was not much of a cook but Balin had insisted that Bilbo would be grateful so Thorin was going to give it his best try.

Thorin looked over to see the hobbit who was currently sharpening his ( _letter opener_ ) sword on Thorin’s whetstone before he turned to his list and ticked the second point on his checklist.

Number two- _‘Cook the hobbit a fancy meal’_.

Thorin was pulled from his checklist when he caught whiff of the subtle scent of burning; he turned to see the pan of fish he was preparing smoking dark clouds, Thorin swore loudly before tucking his list into his cloak pocket, he filled another brass pot full of water before dumping it over the fish and stove, quenching the smoke and the flames that had begun to form.

“Thorin, what on this good earth are you doing?!” A panicked voice called behind him before the king turned to see the hobbit running across the kitchen room to a window and pushed it open with a sharp shove, coughing slightly as he did. The smoke quickly slipped out the window until there was none left and Bilbo turned to Thorin with a frown and a concerned look.

“Hello Bilbo.” Thorin said with a weak smile and Bilbo huffed.

“Save me from the stupidity of dwarves.” Bilbo mumbled under his breath as he marched back to his sword and that hurt Thorin slightly, Thorin pouted sadly before he pulled the handmade bread (that was also burnt) from out of the oven.

Thorin then pulled his checklist out and made a large cross through the second point with the inked quill.

\----

Thorin sat by the fire aimlessly strumming at the long strings of his harp, he pulled his list from his pocket and looked at the next points.

Number three- _‘Enchant the hobbit with music’_.

Number four- _‘Read the hobbit some poetry’_.

Thorin had made an attempt at writing some poetry, but it never rhymed and when it did it was tasteless and unromantic, Thorin sighed before he crunched up the list in his fist and threw it into the fire, after today’s mishap he was sure Bilbo would never want to court him and suddenly that feeling Thorin had in his chest a few days ago returned and gripped him sadly.

\----

Bilbo stretched as he woke and peeked outside the framed wooden nearby, the sky was still dark and the stars still brimming through the veil of black, the hobbit’s eyes wandered until he spotted his flowers in a nearby vase, he still was unsure of whom had picked him the beautiful daises and lilies but he was mighty grateful, Bilbo smiled before rolled on his side with a sigh, his nose still smelling the burnt remnants of Thorin’s burnt meal as he closed his eyes once more but they opened once again when he heard the gently playing of a stringed instrument, the hobbit slowly got up from his bed and pulled on the small dressing gown Beorn had loaned him before he tiptoed gently to the door and followed the sweet tune, it sounded gently but beneath that Bilbo could hear the dark undertone of a hard life that echoed through the lower strings, the hobbit gently walked out into the living room of the skin changers wooden house and spotted the fire flickering in the mantel before he noticed none other than the dwarf king sat in the chair and playing a large harp into the fire.

Bilbo’s mouth fell open at the sight before he wrapped the robe tighter around himself and stepped further into the room without the dwarf noticing him.

\----

Thorin stared broodingly into the fire as he played a gentle song on his harp, not noticing the creature walking up behind him until he placed a warm hand on his shoulder, sending Thorin jumping and causing him to ping to harp string too hard and making it snap, Thorin cursed in the language of dwarves so the hobbit wouldn’t understand him.

“Thorin, what are you doing up so late?” Bilbo asked as he stepped in front of Thorin and kneeled before him, placing a comforting hand on the kings knee as he did.

“I-I was just playing, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Thorin said hurriedly with a sorry expression and Bilbo smiled.

“You didn’t.” Bilbo replied before he looked at the harp and then back to the dwarf. “You play beautifully.”

“I-Well, yes- I mean, you think so?” Thorin stuttered with an embarrassed smile which caused the hobbit to laugh slightly.

“Yes I do.” Bilbo said with a nod and Thorin was pleased that the light of the fire and his thick beard hid the blush currently scorching his cheeks.

“Would- would you like to hear more?” Thorin asked too quickly and the hobbit smiled before taking a seat on the floor.

“I would love too.” Bilbo replied as he tucked his hands in his lap and Thorin mourned the loss of the gentle hand on his knee.

Thorin began to gently play again, working around the broken string as he began to weave the song he wrote the day after the dragon Smaug destroyed Erebor and his family and people were left out on the open dangerous lands. Bilbo’s eyes softened slightly as he heard the soft notes and clapped quietly when it was over.

“Thorin, you’re very talented, I only wish I could play something as good as you.” Bilbo said with a smile before he began to get to his feet but the king placed a callous hand on his shoulder

“I-I wrote some poetry too,” Thorin said now as he thought the hobbit was about to leave. “If you would like to hear some.”

Bilbo smiled endearingly and sat back down on the floor, Thorin placed his harp to the side and slumped off the chair and onto the floor with the hobbit, their knees gently nudging one another’s. Thorin then pulled a spare bit of paper that had been folded and refolded multiple times out of his pocket; the king then cleared his throat and began.

 _“Your love is a priceless gift to me, worth more than all the gold in Erebor-y.”_ Thorin read from the small piece of paper and the hobbit smiled brightly, it was very sweet to hear a poem of who the king love but it made Bilbo feel slightly sad and jealous that it was not for him.

 _“As you can tell I cannot rhyme, so please do not think I’m wasting your time.”_ Thorin continued to read and cringed noticeably.

 _“My hobbit, my hobbit, my dearest, allow me your heart and I promise cheeriness.”_ Thorin read and looked up from the paper slightly to see the hobbit giving him an unreadable expression, the king swallowed thickly before continuing.

 _“My hobbit, my hobbit, my wish come true, share in my wealth and feel my love for you.”_ Thorin read the final line and breathed a sigh of relief before looking at the hobbit, whose eyes were wide with shook and Thorin felt the worlds smash around him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, that was inappropriate of me,” Thorin apologised quickly, crumpling up the poem paper up between his hands. “It was- I mean I-”

“Oh, Thorin.” The hobbit said like one would talking to a dwarfling and Thorin looked up just as Bilbo rushed forward and pressed his lips to the kings, Thorin sighed into the kiss and wrapped a hand in Bilbo’s curls as he pulled him closer and into his thick lap before he thought back to his list that was now one with the ash of the fire, his final tick on his plan, his goal of every life plan with his hobbit from now to the days of end.

Number five- _‘Give the hobbit love and feel his love in return’_.

_Tick._

**Author's Note:**

> ((Sorry... Tell me what you think?))


End file.
